like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
where are my eyebrows?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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