The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
