Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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