Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
