I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
