i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
