I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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