u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
