In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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