Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
