So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
