i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
