so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
