butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
