he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
