she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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