Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
