just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
