I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
