Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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