i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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