Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
...so i touched it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
