Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
