What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
