If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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