no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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