We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
