I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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