Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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