Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
