do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
