whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
