If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
