His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
