using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
