Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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