Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
