Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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