Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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