He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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