o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
