Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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