so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
