Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
