i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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