I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
