My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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