so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
