She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
