I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
