why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
